From the Heart
Lately it’s been on my heart more and more that I feel called to help women who have struggled with unhappiness or even depression.
I want to help women feel good about themselves by living a balanced life, full of love and beautiful, every day moments.
This has really been on my mind lately and
I would love to here your ideas.
If you follow me on social media you may have seen a post here or there where I talk about my own struggle with depression. I’m doing wonderful now, but I think it will always be something I have to keep top of mind, a plan if you will, to stay living in joy.
I think I struggled with depression for years, after I lost our first daughter, Aria, when I was 25 weeks pregnant. I didn’t realize it was depression however, because I had good days, I had days I felt happy (for the most part). It wasn’t until I became pregnant with my daughter, Thea, that it got worse and worse.
Thea’s due date was just 3 days apart from Aria’s and the fear and the anger I felt from the loss became consuming. I could barely focus on the joy of having another daughter because I was so scared she would be snatched away from me as quickly as Aria had been.
I was diagnosed with depression during my pregnancy and dealt with it the months following the birth of Thea. It was at this time that I began large scale painting as a form of therapy. I remember painting sessions where I literally balled and slapped paint on the canvas and used a scraper to scrape paint and etch (I was surprised I didn’t tear through the canvas!), but then at the end of the session a feeling of peace washed over me. I smoothed paint over the canvas with my hands, taking note of all the “scars” I had left behind. When the painting was finished those marks became some of my favorite parts. They were rough, and raw, and yet the painting came together in such a graceful, beautiful way.
Painting has been just one part of my journey. I’ve been learning to eat healthier and lose the pregnancy weight; getting myself ready for the day, even if I’m staying home with the kids all day; and working to find balance in my life.
I’m sharing my journey because I feel God calling me to help other women who may be struggling to live with joy. Who know they “should” be happy, but can’t seem to find their way towards joy.
I hope you take a moment today to think about the joy in your life, and leave a comment with what you’re grateful for, I would love to hear! You can also leave a comment with any feedback you may have to how I can serve other women and help them to live in joy.
Cheers to a beautiful & joyful life!